When I walk, I walk

One of the first things you learn when you get into a software company is to forward mails. Many of you would remember how forwarded mails kept you busy for many hours a day during the initial part of your career. Most of these mails will be redundant, not so useful or just for fun. But some of them will be really useful. I stumbled upon one such mail recently. Thanks to my friend for forwarding it. I would now like to share it with more people, without forwarding the mail !!

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Stories can teach in ways that only stories can teach. For days I had held a question in my mind about how I can progress on the spiritual path. Last evening, finally, the answer came with the birth of this story. Through me, and for me, this story has become a milestone. A realization has become my realization. Perhaps, it can become yours too!

Years ago, when finding a god was still the most important quest for all, there lived a great sage. High above the mountains, iced by snow and sprinkled by cherry sunrays, was his little hamlet. People sought him from all over the world. The scaling heights, the brazen winds, and the wild animals, nothing could stop them from flocking to the guru; for they knew he could pave the way to the divine for them. However, after a few days, many started feeling restless and left.

The reason?

The guru hardly spoke. He just carried on in his usual fashion. For several, this was hard to deal with.

The great sage had a merry laughter and a twinkle in his eye. He seemed ancient and yet, just like a child. He never invited anyone and he never refused anyone. Yet, when someone did come, he made sure his home was their home. Many came, many went. A small group of ten, stayed behind.

The guru knew he had finally filtered the ‘seekers’ from the ‘questioners’. This was the group who had left everything to find god, and they wouldn’t return knowing about god, they would return knowing god. The saint did all that he needed to in a day while the group followed around, hoping to get a clue as to how they too could be in constant, blissful union with their lord.

In the evenings the sage would sit under a tree, while the group gathered around him. Some put their head in his lap and he caressed them lovingly, while others were content to just watch him from afar. The seekers asked questions. Sometimes the guru would answer at length, and sometimes, he would choose silence to speak. Either way, the night would rise only when all the doubts had drowned.

One of those twilights, the youngest girl in the group, Mira, asked him “Gurudeva, tell me the secret of your divinity. I want to know”. Knowing that the words that would follow could change their lives, the entire group moved closer. Silence fell over them as the guru replied. “ when I walk, I walk.” The seekers moved closer still. They wanted to know more. They wanted to transform. Something told them that the answer would be revealed. The guru, however, spoke no more. He just sat with his eye skywards, wondering at the stars.

The seekers were disappointed. They had thought some profound, complex, secret would be revealed. But no, the sage had just spoken a single sentence: “when I walk, I walk”.

What could this mean? All of them went to sleep that night with questions chasing his words around.. answers nowhere in sight.

The next day guru went about his day as always and the seekers followed step. As he plucked the weeds out of his tiny garden, the group helped. The guru smiled to himself as he sensed a peculiar restlessness in the air. However, no one said anything. They already learned that answers would come, only when answers would come. Usually one amongst them would stumble upon the answer to the guru’s words and share his realization with all others. The group would internalize it, ponder upon it, and wait until the realization became a part of them. Today, however, revelation dint seem to be in mood of befriending any of them.

The guru chuckled silently and asked the young girl, “Mira, what are you doing right now?”

Surprised by guru’s question, she replied, “helping you to pluck out the weeds gurudeva!”

He smiled and asked, “what else?”

Mira spontaneously replied, “nothing else!”

The guru asked, “are you sure you aren’t doing anything else?”

Mira thought for a minute and said, “ well, I am thinking about your words.. “

“and?” asked the guru

“umm.. wondering what is there for dinner tonight! “ replied Mira with a giggle.

The guru smiled and said, “when I am plucking weeds, I am plucking weeds.” And with that he went back to doing his chore with the same intensity that he meditated, or ate, or watched a sunrise or spoke to them.

The entire group spontaneously burst into smiles. This was the first time that they had all understood something together. Restlessness changed into excitement, and within moments, excitement became peace. The little group of eleven – one master and ten disciples – plucked weeds, as they plucked weeds, that afternoon.

Ever since this story wrote itself out, the very perspective with which I look at life changed. Queen of multitasking, I believed I should not waste a single moment of my life. I packed in as much as I could every second. I watched movies while exercising. I had breakfast while reading books. I enjoyed a sunrise while chatting on the phone at any given point I was involved in at least two ir three activities.. and I wondered why I wasn’t enjoying any? Why wasn’t I feeling completely, absolutely alive? Why?

“when I walk, I walk”. So simply answered the master! Since yesterday I have been doing this. When I ate, I ate. When I was with my husband arun, I was with arun. When I listened to music, I listened to music. Initially it almost appeared too difficult to do just a single thing at a time. I felt restless. I felt irritated. But I dint give up. As I pursued a single activity long enough and gave myself to it completely, I realized something within me suddenly shifted. No longer was I living in the past or the future; rather I fell into the coveted ‘now’, and the ‘as is’, the ‘present continuous’.

The beauty about ‘this moment’ is that when you are in it, completely and absolutely, nothing else matters. The updaid bills, the chores of tomorrow, the aching knee, the worrisome child- in the now, none of these exist. All that exists is the activity that you are involved in and you. Get immersed even further, and nothing but the activity remains. You dissolve. And in those moments, when there is no ‘you’, what is, is. And that ‘is’ is god! It sounds almost too simple to be true, doent it? Too commonplace ? I always believed finding god was a treacherous, arduous, difficult process… however, I now realize that it is so simple that we miss it. The purpose of every religious chants, prayers and meditations is just this : to make you forget you, so that you can remember god. As the limiting boundary of ‘I’ erases, what is left behind is the infinite: life, as it is, God, as it is.

I always wondered what is the difference between spiritually enlightened masters and me? Now, I know. Even while meditating I am thinking, planning, scratching and wondering. A master even while thinking, planning, scratching and wondering is meditating. If I can learn to do what I am doing, and immerse myself into it completely, meditation will cease to remain a part of my day. It will become a part of me. And gradually, it will become me…

Usually I write while sipping a masala chai, chatting on facebook and checking my mails. Today as I write, I write. I can feel the difference. I can almost experience you beside me, a friend, a fellow seeker, as together we live this message at various different points of our day: “when I walk, I walk”.